April is Autism Acceptance Month. Not awareness. Acceptance.

And yet, many of us are still encountering the same tired myths, outdated systems, and misattuned approaches that make autistic life harder than it needs to be, especially in therapeutic spaces.

Autism isn’t a puzzle to solve or a diagnosis to work around. It’s a way of being — rich, valid, and deeply relational. But for that truth to take hold, we have to shift how we think, talk, and practice.

The Problem with “Fixing”

Too often, autistic clients arrive in therapy shaped by years of correction. The “wrong” tone of voice, the “wrong” interests, the “wrong” response to eye contact. By the time they get to us, they’ve internalised the idea that their most natural way of existing is something to suppress.

This isn’t therapy. It’s compliance training. And it fails — not just because it’s unkind, but because it doesn’t work.

Systemic practice invites us to zoom out. Instead of locating the problem inside the individual, we ask: what systems, relationships, and stories are influencing this person’s experience? In the case of autism, this often means looking at environments that are not just unsupportive, but actively hostile to neurodivergent ways of being.

We need to stop asking, “How can I help this autistic person function better?”
And start asking, “What’s making it hard for this person to function in the first place?”

Misconceptions in the Therapy Room

Here are some common misconceptions that still show up in therapy rooms — and why they need to change:

• “Autistic clients aren’t emotional.”
  Many autistic people feel deeply — but may express emotions in ways that aren’t legible to non-autistic norms. Tears aren’t the only measure of connection. Stillness, silence, a special interest being shared? That might be the most intimate moment in your session.
• “They’re resistant to therapy.”
  What looks like resistance might actually be sensory overload, language fatigue, or burnout from years of masking. If therapy requires performance, it’s not safe. Try adapting the pace, the format, the lighting. Make the room (literal and metaphorical) more accessible.
• “They struggle with empathy.”
  In reality, many autistic people experience empathic flooding — overwhelmed by the emotional states of others. But we may not show it in neurotypical ways. Systemic therapists know: empathy isn’t one-size-fits-all.

Autism in Systems

When we’re working with families, schools, or services, autistic children and adults are often framed as “the problem” in the system — the source of stress or conflict. But systemic therapy teaches us to be curious about how meaning is constructed. Who benefits from the narrative of the “difficult” child? What assumptions are baked into that label? How are the systems around them (school, home, health) reinforcing the idea that the autistic person needs to change?

Real change often begins when we stop centring the needs of the system, and start centring the humanity of the autistic person within it.

A Shift Toward Acceptance

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on growth. It means starting from a place of value. It means trusting that autistic ways of communicating, connecting, and existing are legitimate. That we can build therapeutic spaces that don’t just accommodate difference, but celebrate it.

It means learning from autistic voices — not just during April, but always.

If you’re a practitioner, ask yourself:
Where am I still working from a deficit model?
How can I make my practice more authentically accepting, not just “aware”?

And if you’re autistic, or wondering if you might be —
There’s nothing wrong with you. And you’re not alone.